My Little Dancer

Don’t you wish sometimes you could go back in time change that one thing in your life. Ok, make it a few things ;) If you are one of those then you are no different than me. But I am no longer in your boat since yesterday.

The year was 1983 and I was in Jamnagar, Gujarat in India. You could picture me as just a regular girl, going to school regularly and leading a normal family life. And then there were times when I would have to struggle to find my way back home to normalcy whenever I drifted in the thought jungle trying to find out my identity. Some things have not changed much, I still struggle finding my way back. But I can clearly remember that Dance was one of the many other varying in interests and hobbies that contributed to my state of mind at that time. But Dance, certainly was a big one that kept my focus away from many other diversions. Back in those days there were not enough media exposure or career counseling expertise available. And unfortunately the nearest Bharathnatyam class was also more an hour’s drive on my dad’s scooter. I can dwell on this for another few pages, but that would not change anything. Simply putting I decided to bury that one strong desire, not ever hoping or expecting to explore it.

As uncertain and unpredictable things seemed in the past, the future certainly seems no different. But it at least seems exciting for sure. Today I am happily married and mom to a lovely 6 year old daughter. We live in a small town called Mysore, in Karnataka, India. It’s a very nice town that has all the facilities and opportunities and still maintains the sanctity of a simple life. Life has been good since we moved to this lovely town. I have also picked up a new language, thanks to my maid (helper) who can speak only Kannanda. Maids are another passionate topic and a pain point, before I go for another 200 pages narrating the experiences with my maid, le’me talk about this little angel who has made my future better and convinced me that going back in past and changing a few things in the past life would devoid me of the pleasure that I am being pampered with everyday.

Kids are much smarter for their age compared to those at my times or generation. And along with smartness to make matters worse or for good, they have this immense talent that they crave to express and explore almost every minute. I cannot remember the last time in last 6 years when I could sit and watch TV or read a book at a stretch for 3 hours. Monkey, that sometimes a synonym I use for my little angel at times. She is a bundle of energy and joy. And the best part is that she has the same interest (at least some of them) as mine when I was her age. Thankfully, Dance is one of them. Dance seems to be her medium for expression most times, she goes from one room to another in rhythmic steps and I can only not help but stand and be amused and adore her baby steps. Sometimes its life watching a life mirror, almost like watching myself, centuries ago. I think I just gave out my age just now :). And I have never tried to stop her from dancing her way to everything in life, right from going to the loo to the school. Ok, I have a confession to make. I have followed her footsteps recently and many times and I am not ashamed of it. Nothing has given me more joy than doing those simple steps and rhythmic movements with her. Shes asleep right now, which make it possible for me to write down my thoughts but at the same time I await eagerly for her to dance her way to me, into my arms.


Thanks to Deepali for stressing the fact, which I had always remembered, that its never too late. Finally I took it seriously and decided to take the bold step. Wonder, what life would have been if I ahd put the same rationale to the many other desires I have had ? Ok, drifting again, Sorry. Getting back, initially I was a little embarrassed but thanks to the support of my husband, I gathered that much needed strength and picked up my little girl and headed straight to the Dance class run by a friend of mine right about a decent walk from my home. Destiny, finally has befriended me. Tomorrow would be our first class, which I anxiously look forward to. I hope it to become “our” thing, between mother and daughter and am trying not to get nervous but look forward to it as going back in my back yard and dig out that desire that I had buried ages ago and let magic happen. Wish me luck !!